note to self:

add this to the, morning dance workout mix. oh, and remember to actually get up in the morning to dance/workout. k, thanks. bye.

madonna – into the groove (sidechains remix)

Doom Days

Charlie and I were talking about our “Hawai’i” days yesterday, and for some reason I can’t help but cringe when I think of those days. I mean how was it possible I felt worse then I ever had in my life in the one place I should have been happy, Paradise. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for going through what I did. I think it made me stronger and some what wiser; and I also met my husband, and one of my best friends out there, but I was just so unbelievably miserable. I felt so far away from myself, and so far away from reality that I did a lot of recreational things to cope with it. It helped for a little while, about 6-8 hours of the day, but in the end it just made it worse. I almost lost my mind. I was seriously and pathetically paranoid, and on the verge of self destruction. After Charlie moved, about three months after knowing him, he would come back to visit on occasion, and when he did, when he was near, I felt like myself again. It was so comforting to have him around. I wanted to hold on to him and make him stay every time he would leave. It wasn’t about wanting to be with him, or wanting to leave my boyfriend for him, I mean I wanted to leave him anyways, but it wasn’t about any of that, it was about holding on to my sanity. I barely knew him, but it just felt like he held the answer to my future. We kept in contact as friends, and we had never spoken of our feelings to each other or anyone else for that matter. I never even had a clue how he felt. And, I couldn’t figure out why I always felt like crap when he left, and how great I felt when he was near. And, it’s funny because when I lived in Iwakuni before I moved to Hawai’i, my friend Kris would talk about Charlie all the time, so much in fact I thought they might had been secretly gay lovers. hehe..okay not really, but he did talk about him a lot. Well, I would think to myself while listening to all these stories about, Charlie, “tell me more, tell me more.” He just seemed so intriguing, and lovely. I had never even seen a picture of him at this point. I had no idea who this guy was, but all I could think of was wanting to be in his presence.

Hawai’i…was a turning point. The sun, and perfect weather was deceiving. And, I know it was just the state of mind I was in, but I could never go back; deciding to leave, and ending certain relationships was the best move I ever made. I’m so thankful I didn’t get stuck.

This song is for mistaking false euphoria for true happiness.

Ratatat – Shiller

kaːraːouke

When I said I gave up on these people I meant it.

I’m waiting for the weekend to start, so while I wait I’ll compile a list of songs that I’m dying to sing at the next karaoke excursion. Yes, I have to admit it, I love to karaoke, particularly at this crazy Korean joint near by. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone; and I know it’s super cheesy, but that’s what I love about it.

Alright, so here goes nothiing…

• Billy Idol – Dancing With Myself
• Carpenters – Superstar
• Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit
• Nancy Sinatra – These Boots Are Made for Walkin’
• Guns N’ Roses – Welcome to the Jungle
• Fleetwood Mac – Dreams
• Cyndi Lauper – She Bop

The list could go on, but I probably already qualify as a mic hog, so I guess, if I must, could do with out one or two of those, but two is pushing it; unless nobody else wants to sing, or isn’t quite drunk enough, then I’ll be more than happy to keep the lucky folks on this excursion entertained .. or annoyed.

45 minutes until the weekend starts and counting.

I need you, Mr. MP3 cassette player man!

I ran across this cute little gadget, and I so desperately need it. I’ve wanted something cute to put my workout music on; and how perfect would this be!? It’s great. 

And, since I’m here….

Madonna – Dress You Up

*terpsichore*

“One of the nine Muses, ruling over dance and the dramatic chorus. She lends her name to the word “terpsichorean” which means “of or relating to dance”. She is usually depicted sitting down, holding a lyre, accompanying with her music to the dancers’.”

Okay…so would a modern day, Terpsichore be spinning records instead of holding a lyre? I know it doesn’t sound as magical and dreamy, but man do I want a set of turntables. But, between voice and piano lessons and everything in-between, it’s just not likely that I’m going to be able to afford them right now. Ugh.

 ~ So instead I’ll make a short set list for you.

• James Pants – We’re Through
• Treasure Fingers – Cross the Dance Floor
• Yelle – Tristesse/Joie (Rolf Honey Remix)
• Klaxons – Atlantis (Crsytal Castle Mix)
• John Bourke – What is Love (The Toxic Avengers Remix)
• Treasure Fingers – Come True Tonite (Dub Mix)
• Does It Offent You, Yeah? – We Are Rockstars
• Creature – Bridgitte Bardot
• Justice – D.A.N.C.E (mstrkrft remix)  
• Fisherspooner – Emerge (Daft Punk Mix)
• Crystal Method – Busy Child (Paul Oakenfold Mix)
• Bjork – Earth Intruders (Spank Rock Mix)
• Purple Crush – Shopping on the Dancefloor ((Krames Remix)
• Crystal Castles – Good Times
• Chromeo – Bonafied
• Matt & Kim – It’s a fact
• Crystal Castle – Vanished
• Uffie – Make It Hott
• Peaches – Boys Wanna Be Her (Weird Science Mix)
• Familijen – Huvudet I Saden
• Protokoll – Moving Foward (Designer Drugs Remix)
• New Young Pony Club – The Bomb (KAOS Disco Bomb Extended)

Okay, that wasn’t really short, but it should cover a good hour of dancing for you.  

Oh, my G.O.D!

I have, or think I have some insanely awesome news…but it’s not written in stone and I don’t want to jinx myself, so I’ll save it for a later post. I just wanted to share because I just found out this morning and I’m totally freaking out. I feel like I have to throw up, but in the best way possible. ^.^

(Update: I just reread what I wrote and the whole, found out this morning and wanting to throw up part made it sound like something else, but it’s not that. <<knock on wood.)

In other news…

Charlie and I went out with some friends last night to a $5 all you can drink (unless the tap breaks) and free live music shin dig. For some reason when I hear the word, “keg”, or ”keger”; I think of frat parties, so I was kind of dreading going, but…A Viking, a broken keg, running in to old random AI buddies, and a “Yo, wrap that shit up, B!”, in a cappella form made for a seriously good time. I wanna do it over again, but this time with a camera!

And, just because I’ve been on a reggae kick lately..

Eek-a-Mouse – Operation Eradication

Emi = Beautiful

The weekend was great. It felt like a mini vacation. I wish we could just hang out with the kids all the time and do whatever. Oh, wouldn’t it be nice…

I just wanted to post Emi’s current favorite song. It just kills me how adorable she is riding her bike and singing this. She got really upset with lil’ Charlie this morning because he was singing along to it, and well since it’s her song she wasn’t too thrilled about it. lol. kids.

Smashing Pumpkins – Beautiful

 

When the Sun Hits

 

Last year was a pretty rough year for Charlie and I. So many awful things happened; things that we inflicted on ourselves. It was like it was all a dream, like we had warped into two completely different people who didn’t know how to relate to one another. We were enemies at war; and I truly don’t even remember how it all started. It was just horrible. When we finally came out of our trance we thought to ourselves, what the hell are we doing, we are completely destroying each other, and for what. We laid there many nights quite, sad and sorry; feeling bad for what we put each other through; and hurt for being put through what could have totally been avoided. -But really, thinking about it now, I know it’s all for a reason. If we hadn’t gone through it we’d just be a couple married almost seven years getting by without emotions, and simply just going through the motions. But today, we’re glowing again…no darkness…just light and space to grow. We came through it, maybe not gracefully, but we did. It took a long time, but we’re finally back. We’ve made our truce, and are finally in our new element.

These songs, actually the entire Souvlaki album, are for those nights of realization, and really just feeling quite silly about it all.

And, I really wish I could upload songs directly from my own files, but I’m not ready to upgrade on here just yet. Lali Puna does an amazing cover of, Slowdive’s, 40 days – It really is the epitome of it all. I wish I could post that one for you, but they don’t have it on Hypemachine, not by Lali Puna or Slowdive. You can hear the 30 second sample of it just about anywhere you can sample music though.

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For the echoey spaces between heartbreak and falling in love again.

             

      Slowdive

• Alison
• Souvlaki Space Station
• Country Rain                 

 

 

Post Birthday

After a long day at work feeling completely light headed from all wonderful “happy birthday” wishes; I had to go to class, but fortunately that breezed by like kites in the sky. Well, when I got home I found a nice yummy steak dinner waiting on the table for me; made by the lovely hubs. And, I even got my carrot cake….mmMMmmm, good! It was absolutely delightful.

I haven’t had much time in the past couple of days to spend on the M-Audio. I need to get on it. I only have one class this summer, so I’ll have some free time for that.

I’ve revaluated my life, career, and priorities. Unfortunately, I had to leave the Art institute. It was just getting way too expensive. And, I really would love to move to Europe, and the only way I can see doing that, for me, will be to stay with the Government. I mean I already have 5 years of federal service in, and I need to start planning or at least taking into consideration some retirement plans. So I’m sticking with what I’m doing, Accounting. For now…

In the mean time I’ll be working on side projects, taking singing lessons, and working on my music; which is where this lovely little blog comes in. I’ll be posting my work on here as soon as I finish up ones I’m ready to share.

Thanks for stopping by…Till then…tata.